Wrigley’s Pan Fried Nightmares – Killing Tastebuds In The 1960s

 

Wrigley’s Spearmint needs to stick to what they know: GUM. Branching out was a huge mistake. Take for instance, the dish presented above. Only a gum company could make so many mistakes in a single dish. Are these cookies? They’ve got nuts and raisins…. but they’re covered in ketchup, so they can’t be cookies. It looks like raw meat molded into patties…. yet, the text says they are meatless.  It’s going to take a lot of gum to wash away the taste of this meal (and a lot of time to wash away the memory).

 

 

 

I’m just not grasping the chewing gum tie-in. At first glance, it looks like they’re advertising paella flavored gum! Plus, the red/white/black color scheme of these ads doesn’t lend itself to making this food look even remotely appetizing.  (Interesting trivia: the actress who played Judy in Night of the Living Dead pioneered the art of making food look appetizing for adverts.) Also, some of the ingredients in that paella are insane – clam juice? Bubbly “lemony” drink? Are they telling me to pour Sprite in my paella? And I’m sorry, but at least one of the spokes of the paella “wheel”  is clearly a knob.

 

 

 

 

It’s bad enough that I have to associate my chewing gum with big slabs of meat, but now they’ve gone and dropped glazed doughnuts on my ribs! Okay, these appear to be cored apples. It took me a minute. Still yuck.

 

 

 

 

Oh, Lord. Did some poor 60s housewife actually try and make this stuff? I realize men back then loved their meat, but, even then there were limits. And, I’m still struggling with the gum connection. You don’t see  frozen chicken distributors issuing birthday cake recipes, or new butterscotch pudding recipes courtesy our friends at SPAM®.

Bottom line: sweets and meats shouldn’t mix… unless, of course, it’s bacon.