Coagulated Cookery: The Midcentury Gelatinized Dinner Table

 

Early on in the 20^th century, homemakers turned to gelatin to save money by stretching expensive items like fruit and meat.  Unfortunately, what began as humble frugality turned into gelatin madness by midcentury.  Dinner tables quickly turned into horrific displays of congealed gastro-anomalies.  They lapped it up back then – but the 21^st century palette has changed, and these molded monstrosities look absolutely stomach churning today.

 

 

 

 

This is supposedly a “California Waldorf Salad”; although, a more apt title may be “California Coagulated Vomit”… and it appears to be infected.

 

 

 

 

From The Blender Way to Better Cooking, (1965). You’ll notice a lot of these dishes are heavy on the garnishes.  That’s because a loaf of fleshy-colored blended meat is revolting on its own.  You’ve got to accessorize your briquette of gelatinized meat-paste to make it seem remotely palatable.

 

 

 

 

Yes, you actually can buy desserts like this.  They’re at your local hardware store.  Look for the aisle with rubber stoppers and drain plugs.

 

 

 

 

These glistening polyps are definitely not ready for prime time.

 

 

 

 

The “Fruited Ruby Flakes” is just Jell-O (“any red flavor”) minced with a fork and served with sliced fruit.  No problem there.  My main concern is the “Vegetable Rice Medley”.  Lime Jell-O and “pimiento chips” should never be within the same recipe.

 

 

 

 

This “Silhouette Salad” from 1957 looks like carrion.  To make things worse, the garnish makes it look like you just scooped this cadaverous tubule from your yard.

 

 

 

 

Some of these recipes might actually taste good blindfolded.  If you can get past the rubbery texture, I’m sure macaroni salad leftovers pressed into a semi-solid gelatinous matrix isn’t all bad.

 

 

 

 

I feel sorry for the poor unfortunate soul who bites into that Salmon Pie thinking it’s strawberry cream.  What a stomach-turning surprise that will be.

As for the hideous Shrimp Mold: anyone foolish enough to take a bite of that gets what they deserve.

 

 

More gastro-abominations to be found here.