IN the 1970s, Baby Boomer libidos were at full tilt, coinciding perfectly with The Pill, loosened inhibitions, and the Sexual Revolution – a Perfect Storm of wild, STD-ridden, loveless sex. And behind every sweaty, fornicating encounter, there was likely a bottle of booze to blame. In this article, we celebrate the starting point to 70s-80s style debauchery with 19 vintage photographs of people getting their drunk on. Bottoms up!
There is essentially a 0.001 percent chance that this dinner party will not turn into an orgy. The 1/1000 percent accounts for the remote likelihood of a natural disaster or random explosion.
I think giant leather boots with hotpants and a tube-top is a good look, don’t you? The fashions should give you some idea of the depths to which we were willing to dig for these pictures. No Swedish porno was left unturned in our relentless effort to bring you these classic illustrations.
If you invite Ron Jeremy into your living room for drinks, there are really only two possible outcomes: (1) filthy, regrettable sex or (2) filthy, regrettable sex then nachos. Mr. Jeremy can work up quite an appetite.
Oh, dear. Their glasses have gone empty. What shall they do next? (If you’ve been following along, this should be easy to guess.)
His expression says it all – that moment when you realize it’s great to be alive. What’s about to unfold in front of his very eyes will be a memory cherished for the rest of his days.
The great thing about the 1970s was the concept of a “third wheel” didn’t exist, especially after drinks. The fellow on the right can smile and relax knowing that, no matter how socially awkward he is, he’ll still get laid.
You don’t power through alcohol like this unless you’re steeling yourself for some major league debauchery. Whatever they’re planning on, it’s taking a lot of liquid courage to get there. Godspeed, ladies!
When decades collide: An 80s dress meets 70s upholstery. Nothing good will come of this.
The late Seventies singles bar – where the only thing flowing more freely than the wine was the chlamydia.
“Barkeep! A flagon of mead to warm my gullet and a round of your finest ale for these lusty wenches! Tonight I drink and make merry, for on the ‘morrow I ride to my death or glory. I care not which!”
Take note of the girl on the right: Thigh-high boots with stockings and garter with running shorts? Must be laundry day.
How much champagne will it take for this poor woman to get past her date’s wardrobe? Answer: I hope he has another bottle.
“Before AIDS, sex was like shaking hands.”
“Hence, AIDS”
– Community (Season 1 Episode 8)
A word of advice to the ladies: If his loafers stop looking hideous, you’ve drank too much.
Trousers were optional in the 1970s. Considering the likelihood that you would soon be shedding them anyway, it made sense not to bother with them at all.
These poor drunken partygoers are oblivious to the rolling mass of shag they’re about to be swallowed up in. Someone throw them a life preserver, quick!
Mistakes were made.
I repeat: Mistakes were made.
And so ends our historic tour of vintage skankaholics. I recommend you take a long hot shower to disinfect. Consider taking a walk in the sunshine and maybe adopt a puppy to wash away the residual skank.
Until next time – Cheers!
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