What in the ever-lovin’ hell is going on? It appears Supergirl is being attacked by a dragon while being turned to stone and rescued by a Chinese child drawn in the most racist manner imaginable. This is just a taste of what the 1970s offered in Supergirl comics. Yes, we’ve talked about Supergirl before, but these wildly interesting covers deserve to be explored a bit more.
The comics seem to fall within four categories: batshit insane, wardrobe dysfunction, agonizing romance or total abject failure (or all of the above). Let’s have a look…
1. INSANITY
Supergirl comics had a tendency to cross the line from kid-friendly entertainment into “Dear God! What the hell is this?” territory.
Damn! Do you see where Supergirl is about to drive that massive blade? This is some serious hardcore violence (and bondage) suitable for the late-night drive-in, not a comic book for kids.
Speaking of late-night drive-in movies, a Supergirl “Women in Prison” issue was an unexpected treat.
Yikes. This is truly disturbing. Is it just me, or does it look like the girl with the pretty ballerina shoes and pom-poms on her hotpants look like she’s arriving a bit too late? What happens next is not suitable for print.
We covered this in the previous Supergirl story, but it demands another look. This is truly the most phallic comic book cover in the history of comic books. All arguments to the contrary are invalid.
What the – ? Did I mention Supergirl comics of the 70s were totally insane?
Words can’t describe how insanely awful this cover is. It’s a dinosaur/monster ghost with a “thought screen” on its head… which shows what its non-ghost self would like to be doing at the moment…. (ugh) It doesn’t get much worse than this.
A year later (1971), they would get the ghost thing right and deliver some genuine nightmare fuel…
This is just straight up horrifying. And no, I’m not talking about her costume….. although, that does lead into the second category….
2. WARDROBE DYSFUNCTION
Supergirl was basically the Barbie Doll of the DC universe, constantly changing costume. Wonder Woman had her share of costume shifts during the 1960s and early 70s, but she didn’t hold a candle to Kara Zor-El who was forever changing outfits. Thankfully, she never landed on the center picture above- Supergirl in a pantsuit would’ve been a tragedy.
Woops! I guess she should be glad she had her costume on underneath. That horny monster would have exposed a lot more than her identity!
Woops again! Judging by Supergirl’s mismatched “secret identity” attire, it must be laundry day.
Speaking of exposure – Supergirl’s “miniskirt years” had illustrators constantly providing upskirts for salivating pre-teen readers. Yes, it was always cleverly concealed in shadows, but it had 1970s boys squinting to get a look nonetheless. (More on this in the previous Supergirl story).
What the hell is she wearing? Supergirl went through a lot of costume changes in the 1970s; however, I don’t recall this skimpy little number from 1971. Then again, it’s hard to keep track.
On a side note – anyone remember “Satan Girl” (from the comic above)? That’s a pretty raw name for a comic book villain. Was there a Satan Lad as well?
3. ROMANCE GONE WRONG
Supergirl comics of the 1970s were one agonizing romance after another. I’ll go ahead and say it – Kara Zor-El had worse relationship problems than all the other superheroes combined. To call her relationship history an “ungodly mess” would be an understatement.
As usual, Supergirl is set up for another heartbreak in this 1971 issue. She’s so lovesick, she doesn’t even hear the murdering a few steps away.
Supergirl – forever alone. At least she has her cat.
Let it be known, it wasn’t always the boys breaking up with her – she obviously had issues with commitment herself. Sadly, all the boys she split with ended up lifeless trophies in her macabre collection.
You would think a girl this hot wouldn’t need a computer dating service, but when your track record is this bad, computer assistance is needed.
If you doubt that Supergirl had to contend with some serious issues with men, just remember there was an issue titled: “All Men Are But Slaves”.
(rubbing eyes) Am I seeing this? Supergirl and Zatanna are fighting over the affection of giant Snowman? I knew she had problems in the relationship department, but this ridiculous. Although, the Sinister Snowman may have been quite the love machine, so I guess I shouldn’t be so quick to judge.
“Take your time, Linda baby,” you’re about to sink to a new low – rejected by a “romance machine”. Can things get worse?
Alas, that leads us to the final category…
4. Super-Fails
It seemed Supergirl got no respect in the 1970s- she was the Barbie Doll of DC, but also the Rodney Dangerfield. Constantly getting her ass handed to her by villains, and forever on the losing end of the popularity game – misfortune, thy name is Supergirl.
It’s 1970, the start of a new decade, and Supergirl is off to a great start. My favorite anti-Supergirl sign: “Go Up, Up And Away!”
You may recall a recent story on Ms. Marvel – Feminism Fail. Suffice it to say, Supergirl comics weren’t exactly high-water marks in the Women’s Liberation Movement either.
What happens in the 35th Anniversary, 400th issue? Supergirl gets her ass kicked. File this under textbook examples of the design virus known as the A-Frame.
At some point, they should have just renamed “Adventure Comics” issues with Supergirl to “Degradation & Shame Comics”
Well, we’ve experienced enough Supergirl shame for one day. It’s bad enough her home planet was destroyed, but poor Kara Zor-El had to endure public beat-downs, wardrobe dysfunction, and tragic relationship issues. But it was these trials and tribulations that made 1970s Supergirl comics so great.
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