Taliban Behead Children By Big Ben Tribute

TO mark the 150th anniversary of Big Ben, a new piece of music based on the Oranges and Lemons nursery rhyme has been recorded.

The tune uses 200 bells from the 17 London churches named in the full version of the rhyme.

Composer Benjamin Till sets to music a work first published in Tommy Thumb’s Pretty Song Book in 1744.

Anorak commends the tune to the Anorak Ringing Sonority, who have taken time out from playing the sound effects to Disney’s Heidi The Musical to enjoy the new instrumental.

In light of the modern songs, Anorak now believes Oranges and Lemons (aka Five a Day) has a new game to go with it.

Elephants play ‘Oranges and Lemons’ at the Bertram Mills Circus, Olympia.

In the old version two children become the ‘chopper’ by holding hands and forming an arch. They secretly decide which one of them is ‘Oranges‘ and which one is ‘Lemons‘.

The other children go through the arch in a line, circling round behind the arch, and going through again, singing the rhyme as they go. At the last line of the rhyme the ‘choppers‘ bring their arms up and down in a chopping motion over each child that goes through. The child caught in the middle at the last word of the rhyme is ‘beheaded’.

Once captured the beheaded child secretly chooses to be Oranges or Lemons, as Stockholm Syndrome dictates, and then moves around to stand behind that child forming the arch.

Things continue in this vein until all the children are either dead or bleeding profusely from deep gashes to the throat and wrists.

In this modern version, Al Qaeda or/and Hamas CTV arrives to take pictures and declare that it is God’s will, Old Bailey is a Jewish plot to subjugate the Shoreditch massive and it is all what Michael Jackson would have wanted…

Says Ahmadinejad: “Here comes the chopper to chop off your hands.”

Air Chief Marshall Sir Dermot Doyle distributes oranges and lemons to the children of St Clement Danes at the dedication of the re-cast bells of the church